“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.”

~Swedish Proverb

 

When you fly on a commercial airplane, the flight attendant instructs you in the case of a sudden loss of cabin air pressure to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.  Why is this an important rule for ensuring survival?  Because if you run out of oxygen, you can not help anyone else with their oxygen mask.

We can apply the oxygen mask metaphor to everyday life. On the physical dimension we can become overwhelmed, tired, bored, or frustrated by our day to day world. There are many demands and expectations to which we surrender ourselves and sometimes we lose sight of who we are. We distance ourselves from taking care of our mind, body and soul.

On a metaphysical level, we live in times where there are major shifts underway as ascension is happening and we find ourselves living or having the majority of our experiences in the third dimension as fifth dimension characteristics reveal themselves. This can cause agitation, a feeling of loss or confusion and even physical symptoms. In this state we may feel that things are not as they appear and we may find ourselves trying to hold on to what has been, but know we need to let go. This can put many in a state of gasping for air.

But we can not contribute our gifts, talents, compassion or creativity, love or intelligence—in short our destiny to the world—if we are gasping for air ourselves. It is difficult if not impossible to help others if we do not first help ourselves. We need to first experience helping ourselves and taking care of ourselves. We can only know how to help others when we have had the experiences of helping ourselves. 

Our ability to help others and the world around us—our helping power—is a reflection of our knowledge, attitude and talent or skill. In order to help others, we need to invest in increasing our helping power and impact. And this starts with taking care of yourself on the dimensions of mind, body and soul.

I realize that for many this may seem selfish. But this reaction is rooted in the lower vibrations of judgement or expectation of the third dimension. If we think about the oxygen mask metaphor, if we do not put on our masks first we will be deprived of oxygen, become unconscious and not be able to contribute to help others or to make that difference. There can be detrimental consequences.

If we allow ourselves to understand ourselves, to reflect, gain clarity, to practice gratitude, to rest and to be well both physically and mentally, we will have the ability to truly help others. If you allow yourself to have experiences that foster your knowledge, talents and attitude and to improve your overall well-being, you improve your ability to help others.

Also, we need to be cognizant of the difference between empathy (to care about others and understand their feelings) and sympathy (actually helping others). This may sound counter-intuitive, but if you are seeking to make change you need to first focus on evolving yourself. Only when you are equipped to help by nurturing yourself will you find your contributions more meaningful and fulfilling. With this, I encourage all to put on your oxygen masks first.

“If we can respect the divine within us, if we can treat it with dignity, then we can respect others around us.”

~ Vishwas Chavan

 

I have often touched upon self-appreciation and self-love as we explored the constant state of change and the mind, body and soul connection. This in the context of appreciating, loving and accepting you for who you are and all that you are. Self love is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and is fundamental to living well. Self love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from experiences and actions that support our physical, emotional and spiritual growth.

Going hand-in-hand with self-love is self-respect. When we think of respect we often do so not in the context of ourselves but more so in the context of who is respecting (or disrespecting) us and who we respect.  Overall, respect can be defined as a sense of personal value that you attach to someone or someone may attach to you. Self-respect is the personal value you attach to you.

Just like self-love, self-respect grows by our actions or experiences that mature and hopefully evolve us. When we think, speak and act in ways that expand self-respect in us, we have compassion for ourselves and move to a state where we nurture our mind, body and soul. More so, we understand our core values and beliefs and do not compromise them.

Respecting yourself is a major piece in loving who you are. Each of us are magical beings and deserve to be respected and loved because we are unique. A common definition of respect as a verb is “to show regard or consideration for.” In thinking about self-respect, ask yourself if you are showing regard and consideration for yourself and those around you with your thoughts, words and actions. 

Self-respect is something you should automatically give yourself—regardless of what image you see in the mirror or the thoughts running through your head. You need to know and believe that you deserve the respect given to you and show respect for yourself through your actions.

The longest relationship you will ever have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.  It is up to you to develop and nurture the strength and connection you have with yourself through self-respect and self-love. Only you can define your value. It is not, and never will be, found or defined by someone or something else.

Without first learning how to appreciate and respect ourselves, we will never be able to appreciate and respect the other people and things in our lives. Without self-respect, self-love and investing to find peace with ourselves and cultivating a deep understanding of ourselves, we can fall into the trap of being in a continuous cycle of trying to find acceptance, validation and respect from outside.

The more you respect yourself, the more you will be able to love yourself. As you can imagine, there are many things in life that can distract you from or hinder self-respect. There can be outside influences that interfere with treating yourself honorably. These include the low-vibration energies of comparing yourself to others, envy, fear, judgement and others that are often fueled by life events and situations.

But these life events and situations are simply experiences and you own how you choose to react. If you build a strong foundation of self-love and self-respect you will not react out of fear, envy, judgement, etc. You will be grounded in the value of you and your beliefs.

In short, if you do not respect yourself then you will not take care of yourself, and you will choose to let people treat you badly. With self-respect, you recognize and know your worth and others cannot negatively influence your opinion of yourself. As we have heard many times in many ways, you must love and respect yourself before anyone else can or will.

“You are everything that is, your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true. You are everything you choose to be. You are as unlimited as the endless universe.”

~ Shad Helmstetter

In many of the posts that I have written I talk about such things as the current physical world in which we live, multiple dimensions and ascension. I have also shared thoughts on intention, living consciously and the power of choice.  As humans mostly having our experiences in the third dimension, although we are becoming enlightened and are ascending, we tend to still view our lives as a collection or a series of linear experiences.

We define what has happened as memories, what is happening now as real or in real time and what will happen as the unknown or an aspiration. What I would like to explore with you is the concept of the here and now and that there is an array of parallel experiences for you here and now, and that this is where intent and choice come into play.

To help you think about this, think about your experiences from the vantage point of the multitude of radio or satellite stations to which you have access. As you are driving you may search the stations to find something to listen to—be it music, the news or a talk show. You choose to listen to a station and may stay with it for awhile or it may bore you or it may not be of interest to you and you turn the dial. But you know at any given moment that there are multiple broadcasts (choices) going on at the very same time.

At any given moment, there are an unimaginable number of things going on in the world at the same time—sports events, concerts, meetings, classes, dinners, shopping, work, etc. You, as a being mostly experiencing your life in the linear third dimension, experience where you may be or what you are doing, but you know that there are over seven billion people (world population) having their experiences right where they are as well. 

A way of looking at this is that there are alternate realities that exist parallel to our own and we are all co-existing with other realities. This affords us free will or choice, and practicing this choice consciously with intention creates your reality. What you do, how you do it and where you do it are all choices made completely by you, and it creates your here and now.

In creating your reality you can have anything you choose. But note, there is an element of consistency that is needed over a period of time. There is a factor that allows us to alter or change our minds before we get what we ask for or want to create. There are many of you who may question why what you think or say you want to create has not yet been realized. You need to take a hard look at the consistency of your intent and actions.

It very well could be that you are still in a “buffer zone” where you are unconsciously figuring out what you really want to create or what your human self thinks it wants is not really aligned with your higher Self or purpose. It is very important to be careful and conscious on what you want to create as your reality, especially if what you want to manifest has not been seriously and well thought out or visualized. As the old adage goes, be careful of what you ask for.

As we are co-existing with other realities, there are lines or veils between realities and we exclude non-relevant realities from our consciousness. As we are evolving from the third dimension in which we experience life fueled by such lower frequencies as fear, anger, uncertainty, jealousy, etc., in the construct of duality and in a linear modality to the fourth (the gateway dimension) to a fifth dimension, there is a thinning between dimensional realities. In this state, time will no longer be experienced in a linear manner and these lines will slowly fade.

In such a time, it is important to first understand this is happening and also to choose wisely among your realities, deeply considering what non-chosen reality you leave behind as you advance toward your chosen reality and direct your own destiny. Creating your here and now requires that you take responsibility for your choices and for you to realize what you choose is going to be what you manifest.

“When times are tough is matters not that we forget we are infinite beings. What matters most is how quickly we remember.”

~ Gail Lynne Goodwin

 

All too often in the midst of challenging situations, difficult times or when we are at a crossroads in a season of our lives we lose sight that we are indeed infinite beings, and we wrap ourselves up in worry, fear and doubt. We inject into our thoughts and actions criticism, judgement, blame and jealousy. And we may start to overthink things, think that everything matters and we get emotionally paralyzed.

Some words of wisdom—it matters not. All what you get hyper-focused on, run through your head hundreds of times trying to play out every possible scenario, all the “what if’s” and all the worry and the “mistakes” or “mis-judgements” you think you may make—matter not.

As I talked about in the past, there are no such things as mistakes. We are all complete and have the information and knowledge we need built right inside our Selves. We experience, and those experiences open the channels through which knowledge and knowing can flow. When we think and function as if everything matters, we block those channels.

So often we worry about what people think about us or what they may say. We put too much emphasis on what we may think of as “mistakes” we made. We live in other’s expectations, comparing ourselves to others or in the state of judgement. 

In this physical existence, we live in a world of demands, places to be, things to do, and often in a world of arbitrary or self-imposed deadlines. We allow ourselves to get pulled into other peoples dramas, urgencies and sometimes “busy work”. If we are not living consciously or in a state of self awareness, we can get lost in this maze—and start to worry, live in doubt and anxiety and lose ourselves.

I ask that you take a breath, ground yourself and reflect on the concept of it matters not.

Think of “it matters not” not as a synonym for lack of, or without judgement, but for acceptance. It matters not allows you the freedom of your expression of yourself with no limitations—and not concerning yourself with the choices or the expressions of others. It is not not caring. It is about being true to yourself and not being threatened by difference.

For example, it matters not that you may have friends or family that have a different philosophy or way of thinking. It matters not that your experiences are different from others. What is important is not to incorporate the expression of being threatened or being fearful by difference into your existence.

Remember you are an infinite being, and as an infinite being you create every experience in your life. When you believe that everything you think, say or do matters and worry; anxiety and fear accompanies what you think, say or do, you are giving away your power to lower vibrations of self blame and judgement. Through your thoughts you are choosing your reality, and if you are not pleased with your reality, take some time to reflect on your thoughts and your emotions.

Today, let go of “it matters” and move to a state of self acceptance, knowing that you can change your current state of reality and realize clarity and peace.

“There are no mistakes, no coincidence. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

The common, and unfortunately accepted, definition of the word mistake is an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness or insufficient knowledge.

The words in the definition wrap the concept of mistake in other types of thoughts and actions such as opinion, judgement and lack of knowledge that leave us not feeling very good about the whole thing or ourselves. So much so that there has been and continues to be advice or encouragement imparted by many to let us know that it is OK to make mistakes as long as we learn from them, and that everyone makes mistakes. But overall, it all carries a negative connotation and can even have us put more pressure on ourselves or think less of ourselves.

We need to break out of this mindset—the mindset that mistakes exist and the action of judging ourselves by what or how we “do” when we think or someone else thinks we messed up, we failed or did something “wrong.”  We need to stop heeding the advice that mistakes are how you learn—and that carry this unspoken warning of “but make sure it doesn’t happen again.” This breeds fear, imposed by yourself; and living your life and approaching all you do in this state is unhealthy and is not what the Universe meant for you. You need to flip the paradigm and stop thinking in duality—mistake or accuracy, mistake or correctness. 

Everyday we are growing, evolving and ascending. Everyday there are opportunities to build more awareness and understanding. This happens through our experiences and how we flow through these experiences. It is not about making course corrections in your life to try to get it back on track so you can reach your final destination. First, you are on track, and more importantly, there isn’t a final destination. There are many destinations—places to be for sometimes a short stay and sometimes for a longer stay. Along your life, embracing and accepting them all is fundamental.

In your experiences there are things you do or don’t do—all in the context of a moment or even seasons of your life.  All is as it is to be—and nothing is a mistake. All experiences move us forward, even in the moments when it may not feel that way. And if you are experiencing repeats or similar situations, feelings and emotions it is not that you are repeating what you may define as mistakes, there are however some things in your life that you need to experience until you get from them what you need to know to be able to move on.

So I ask that you drop the thought and word mistake from your vocabulary. The word mistake can be toxic. Have faith that everything you go through grows you—and nothing you have done, do or will do will ever be a mistake.

“Some people create their own storms then get mad when it rains.”

~ Unknown

 

Having drama in your life is a choice. We all know people who create drama, and who actually thrive on it. It is almost like they cannot function without it. They may complain and seek to avoid what they may think is the unnecessary drama in their lives but what they fail to do is to look at themselves and take steps to stop creating it.

So let’s look at why people keep generating drama in their lives—and unfortunately bring it with them into their interactions and relationships. They act out their drama at work, at school, at home, etc., trying to pull others around them in to be part of the scene and to applaud their efforts in “trying” to navigate the challenging situation or solving the problem. For many, they create drama even during stable or calm seasons in their lives. Why? Addiction to excitement, Boredom, Insecurity, Letting their ego drive their lives.  They strive for calm, peace and happiness, but when they may be living it, it is not enough.

One way to look at it is that they get so used to the inflation in their states of drama—proving that they are right, being the victim to attract attention, trying to control people or situations. This happens when one operates by the influence of external events or circumstances, rather than by the higher Self.

To them drama is just like a habit. Just like other “bad” or unhealthy habits, some people keep feeding them. When we are not happy with ourselves, where we may be in life or feel uninspired or unmotivated, there is a tendency by some to look to external sources or situations to stir things up. Also when a life is filled with negativity, some will be drawn to more negativity. When lost, hurt or afraid, some can be more susceptible to drama as well. 

If you see yourself in a drama filled life, you need to take a look at your life, and ask yourself (and be honest about your response) if you want to eliminate the drama. Be honest about being drawn to drama and how you may be creating and perpetuating it. Is it easier for you to be the “victim” or to blame others? Do you get an adrenaline rush from drama (even if you say you can not tolerate it)?

If you want to break out of the drama state, first understand that drama as a habit or addiction—like any habit or addiction—will take time to break, and if you are wired to be the drama “king” or “queen” it will be best to consciously and continuously work at it.  Reflect and take a deep dive into yourself to identify and accept why you keep creating and feeding drama. Find peace in yourself—let the past go and stop blaming others.

If you are creating drama to fill a void or because you are bored, try to fill that void with something else—mix up your routine, try something new and calm your mind. You can actually free up space in your life by removing drama. Distance yourself from others who feed off of your drama or tempt you with their drama. It is also important to let go of expectations that you may have about what other people should be like or do, or that everyone needs to agree with you.  Accept things as they are.

In closing, I ask that you think about this. Drama does not just show up in your life. You create it, invite it or associate with others who bring it. And know that you do have the ability and the strength to redirect your energy away from drama.

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

 

Today many people try to find answers to what they think are their woes, or what will make them happy, rich, satisfied, successful, etc., in an “out-of-the-box” solution.  Many are programmed to seek answers from someone else. Think about it. There are all sorts of messages being thrown at us every day to make us feel like we are missing something and tell us subliminally or overtly that we are not what we should be or where we should be.

We have all seen the headlines of the ads and articles . . .

The Secrets to Financial Success

How to Land the Perfect Job

How to be Happy

What Every Parent Should Know

What You Don’t Know about (fill in the blank) that Will Hurt You

This list of admonitions that suggest we are lacking knowledge or insight and that we need some expert to provide us with all the answers—and worse, have us believing that if we do not act immediately, we will never find love, our purpose, our fame or fortune. A fear-based paradigm filled with uncertainty and doubt enters our lives.  And we believe that we do not have the knowledge or internal resourcefulness, and until we find answers from some external physical source, we’ll never know—destined to be in a constant state of searching, feeling lost and unhappy. 

There are many institutions today that want it this way—to keep the populous unsure, disempowered and preoccupied looking for happiness, and to have us thinking we are not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, etc.  And we fall into the trap of the power brokers wanting us to stay in some unenlightened state.

For sure, there are many good resources available that can aid people in helping themselves, and learning and exploring throughout life is a good thing, but think how often we fall prey to believing that some personal or professional assessment tool, executive, life, or personal coach, some consultant, family member or friend, etc., will show us the way and give us all the answers. Just as we may start to feel good again or we are making progress something happens in our lives that introduces doubt, fear and uncertainty, and we fall back into a cycle of looking for answers outside of ourselves.

Maybe it is easier this way since looking outside of ourselves to someone or something else gives us someone or something to blame if we don’t think we succeeded. It removes responsibility from ourselves about our Selves. Maybe it is because we think is will be faster or easier if “someone else” does the work for us, tells us what to do and how to do it—and provides us with some advertised magic formula. But there is no magic formula—unless you know that you yourself are the magic formula. You have all the answers for the unique you. No one else does.

You have to remember that no amount of validation, advice, or external support will change that you alone need to choose solutions or answers to what you deem as your challenges and then find the strength within yourself to implement them. All the words, programs, tools or advisors in the world cannot change the fact that sometimes you just need to sit with your feelings, to reflect and to have the answers you seek come to you.

“Some changes happen deep down inside of you. And the truth is, only you know about them.”

― Judy Blume, Tiger Eyes

 

Sometimes our spirits seem not to be enjoying this earthly experience, and sometimes we can find ourselves even resenting our current physical incarnations. We long for a fog to be lifted, energy to rise and new found peace. This state happens when your mind, body and soul are not aligned or in sync. And to get them to be in sync you need to make It personal, and to live in harmony with your true nature—your Self.  Here is where you transcend limitations and doubt and cease to identify with fear and lower emotional states.

Making it personal has a few meanings in the context of syncing up your mind, body and soul. One is that making it personal gives you the drive and the passion to work toward an improved mind, body and soul relationship. Think about it this way. We invest our energies and we make deep and sustainable commitments when something deeply matters to us because we are directly impacted. I’m not talking about selfish or ego-driven wants, but about an issue, cause or belief that is exclusive to you for meaningful and real change.

Which leads me to the other context for making it personal. We are all unique beings. We are all “wired” differently. We may share common attributes or characteristics, but what we feel deep inside, what we think, how we behave, etc., are all very special to us. Our thoughts, words and actions—and our body, mind and soul relationships cannot be duplicated or shared. So if you find your Self out of alignment, it is only you who can work to get your mind, body and soul in harmony.

I know that sometimes it may not feel like it, but it is really a privilege to be on earth at this time of ascension and evolution. Of course there are seasons when it may be difficult or challenging in the physicality of you—but you should not lose sight that you have the means and the power to make change.

The Mind

The mind is a very powerful tool and when out of balance it can lead to anxiety, fear, worry and even withdrawal. When in balance our mind can stimulate creativity, enhance intuition and provide drive and motivation. It is important to find time to calm your mind, as well as to nourish it with positive thought and challenge it with new concepts and ideas.

The Body

Our bodies are amazing vessels that allow us to physically move about the world. When not in a state of well being, it can lead to physical symptoms and weakened immunity. Just as we need to nourish our minds, we need to nourish our bodies with a healthy diet, exercise and being physically active and rest.

The Soul

Our souls are our energy or life force that lives within all of us. Our souls are so powerful that they can never be destroyed. The purpose of our soul (or spirit body) is to grow and evolve. Though our souls cannot be destroyed, they can and will shift or morph—as we ascend. And as we nourish and care for our minds and bodies, we do need to nurture our souls as well. Our souls can be nurtured by the practice of gratitude, learning the power of self-love, embracing who you are and learning acceptance and forgiveness, and seeking ways to find your spiritual grounding (in meditation, quiet time, being outdoors.)

We all have the potential to heal and transform ourselves through our thoughts, words and actions—through our perceptions and choices. If you are feeling tired, out of sync, frustrated, upset or overall not well, take time to seriously examine your mind, body and soul relationship and one day at a time begin to take simple steps to bring them into better alignment. And the first step is to make this personal—it is your journey and only you will know and experience the transformation deep inside of you.

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.” 

― Jim Morrison

 

As we approach Independence Day (July 4^th) in the United States I thought what an opportune time to take a look at declaring your freedom; in fact, to write your own declaration of independence.

First to set the context and to ground your reflection on this, we can look back to our school days when we learned that it was on July 4, 1776 that the second Continental Congress signed the Declaration of Independence, claiming legal separation from the British crown. And this set in motion the formal beginning of the American Revolution. It was not, however, until 1783 that the final treaties were ratified.

I’m not suggesting that it will take eight years to finalize or realize your personal independence, but that you need to allow yourself the time to reflect, to question, to think, contemplate and set (or reset) your intentions. From 1776 to 1783 people declared freedom and took action to gain that freedom. This is the moment for you to declare your freedom—freedom from expectations, unhealthy habits, the power brokers, etc. This is the moment to set in motion your freedom to question, to awaken and to be true to yourself.

Every day, every moment brings change. Change is a constant—even when you want to hold onto certain paradigms, circumstances, routines, etc., these things that you hold onto are in a changing and ascending world. One perspective is that by holding on to anything requires you to adapt or change just to hold on. With this, consider that holding on or being resistant to change is blocking your independence. You may be living in other’s expectations, in fear, denial, debt, or unconsciously, and the energy that you use living in this state impedes growth—and ultimately your freedom. 

You may have things in your life that you wish were different. Take the effort to understand them and what you vision for your life.  Remember what you think are problems and that these problems that are holding you down is really a mirror or out-picturing of your thoughts or even misconceptions.

Declaring your independence is about removing the restrictions and limitations you put on yourself, and exercising your universal right to be you—to be happy, content, productive and at peace.

Many struggle today and live in a paradox of saying they want freedom, to be untethered and seek independence but they wait to be told what to do and how to do it, they blame others, they stop to think for themselves or to formulate their own opinions and concepts. In declaring your independence, you take responsibility and ownership.

Let me be clear, freedom should not be just for freedom’s sake. It is what you do with it. It is about challenging your self and valuing growth. Independence and freedom is about choice—and living a fulfilling life. A good question to ask yourself when you are on the path to creating your freedom is what happens when you have it and what’s next.

So on this 4^th of July weekend of Independence, celebrate you and take the first steps towards your independence from limitation and oppression. Remind yourself that you have the power and resolve to live consciously.  Declare you freedom!

What do you think—what does freedom mean to you?

“We can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one”

~Paulo Coelho

 

Many of us have seen the movie “Groundhog Day.” In this movie, Bill Murray plays Phil Connors, an egocentric TV weatherman who, during a hated assignment covering the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, finds himself repeating the same day over and over again. After indulging in hedonism and numerous suicide attempts, he begins to reexamine his life and priorities—until he breaks the cycle.

In this post, I want to explore two perspectives of what I’ll call the “Groundhog day syndrome.” One is the individual perspective—thinking a bit about how or why you may be experiencing the syndrome and how to get out of the groundhog day cycle. The other is the perspective of when you are pulled into or are part of someone else’s groundhog day—where someone else may be experiencing a cycle of repeats, but you happen to be in their “movie” of repeats.

Your Groundhog Day

Albert Einstein has a well-known statement that says “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” Many of us are living out our own Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same dramas over and over again. We keep confronting the same problems and the same issues in most of the situations we are in, because we don’t really work too hard to reflect, learn and evolve in a timely way.

For some, there is a “comfort” in taking the same actions daily—but yet they will feel frustrated, angry or confused when the results they get are the same. They even may look to blame others or lash out at others. This is where a “time-out” is needed. If you find yourself in this mode of operation, it is time to step out of yourself and observe what you may be thinking and doing and put energy into altering your thoughts, words and actions. Deeply inquire into your life. Only you can make this change and begin to awaken. 

I have talked about this many times but to reiterate not being consciously present means that life will just happen to you. Think about it this way, often we know exactly what situations we are getting into but when the unconscious tendencies kick in, living our lives can become habits. We need to become aware of the unconscious habits that are the undercurrent of our realities—our lives—and see what we can change—our attitudes, our thoughts, what we say and how we say it, what we do and and how we do it. Overall, start to respond to life with all the built-in intelligence and instincts you have. When you arrive at this place, you will see amazing results that are more aligned with your intentions and your being.

Others’ Groundhog Days

It’s safe to say that for most of us we have experienced a scenario that goes like this. You have someone in your life—a loved one, friend, co-worker, etc.—that you encounter frequently and that encounter is often filled with thoughts of “didn’t’ we talk about this already,” “why wasn’t X or Y done yet,” “why isn’t there forward motion or things progressing,” or “I feel like I’m in a Groundhog Day.” But it is not your Groundhod Day. It is the other person’s but you are part of the scene in their life movie.

You may first question yourself as in if there is a lesson you need to learn, something you need to reconcile or make peace with, etc. I have to say, this is not always the case. The other person may need to learn and have the continuous repeats until the learning happens. You just happen to be part of that connected process. Here is where patience is needed. It is quite easy to get frustrated and maybe lose faith in the other person.

The first step is understanding that the other person needs to experience their life lesson, but if you feel that they are not quite moving forward, you may need to share your insight about reflection, letting go and making change. You can help coach them to respond to life instead of just reacting. When you are in another’s Groundhog Day, you need to be mindful of your emotions and energy and be careful to not get overly impacted. Stay grounded and leave yourself some space to breathe and recover.

I hope this provided some perspective that will help you break the Groundhog Day Syndrome, and I invite you to share how you keep from living your life as just a habit.