For You

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We have heard it many times—that we need to take care of ourselves first (emotionally and physically). If we do not, it does catch up with us—from feeling overwhelmed, tired, stressed, less focused and distracted to name a few.  In short, our overall well-being suffers. And even though we may think this only impacts us, it goes beyond us. It also impacts those in our lives.

I often hear people say that they will try to stop smoking, eat healthier, exercise, go back to school, get grounded or be more in-the-moment for others (be it their significant other, children, parent or dear friend). First, this is putting the responsibility on someone else, versus you taking responsibility and ownership of the change you want to make.

An unhealthy expectation can emerge by you onto those for whom you say you are making change. When you do this you are not really getting in-touch with yourself and why you want to make change. Also, when you start out the “taking care of yourself first” journey from this stance, it can be difficult to see it through. Why? Because you did not start from you—understanding yourself. you heart mountaintop

Yes, some people are looking for motivation or inspiration, and they look outside of themselves for this. But when you use others as the motivation or inspiration, it can be easy to find the excuse in those others when you hit a roadblock or a challenge. Taking care of yourself takes hard work, dedication and belief in yourself. Others cannot be responsible for that.

I came across a quote by Jim Rohn that says, “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” I think we can extend this to the mind, body and soul as they are all connected. Achieving anything in life starts here.

To get closer to the person we can become, we do not need to do it for others. We start by doing it for ourselves. It is about listening to your collective mind, body and soul and giving it what it needs to feel its best. It is about taking responsibility for your own life—no matter where you are at, no matter your starting point and regardless of your past. Excuses limit and prevent us from growing. Own your life—no one else will.

If you don’t start a change process for you from you, you dim your light. If you play small or shrink so that others around you will not feel insecure or look to others for confirmation or accolades for your progress, you are not letting your light shine, and the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved.

If you feel that you want to make a change do it for you.

The Power of Temporary

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Temporary: lasting for only a limited period of time; not permanent.

Ghalib, the Urdu poet, in his verse says, “Raat din gardish mein hain saat asmaan, ho rahega kuch na kuch ghabrayein kya.” – The seven heavens are active every day and night, something new will emerge, then why this anxiety?” Difficulties come and go, just like the day and night. This is a universal law that applies equally to every human being.

But we often lose sight of temporary when we feel like we are lost in the trenches or struggling through some difficult, confusing or frustrating times. It can feel as if there is no end in sight, tiresome and even overwhelming.  What we may think of as dark times or human difficulties are temporary. Every difficulty is bound to fade and disappear. Although it may not feel like it when in the midst of a challenging set of circumstances or situation, those challenges or situations are not permanent.

Further, what prolongs them is when you get so caught up in them that you are refueling them. In short, you put yourself in a vicious cycle with low vibrating emotions by being stuck in worry, resentment, anger, self-pity, etc. The thing that can magnify or worsen what you may be experiencing is that you lose your patience and forget the situation is temporary and not permanent. Leaves in wind

It is best to work at moving yourself away from being upset and to not overly dwell on the circumstances or situation. When you do so you are in a better position to keep your energy intact, and not to fall prey to frustration. Keeping a frame of mind that what you are experiencing is temporary greatly helps.

Think of it this way. Difficulty is a state of mind. It is in the mind where difficulties are created—and where they can be eliminated. Our minds and our thoughts are greater than the difficulties in which we find ourselves.

So when in difficult times, try to focus on your mind (thoughts) rather than on the difficulty itself. Putting yourself in a “gloom and doom” mindset and obsessing on when will the challenging time be over is a distraction—a distraction to your inner voice, to the resolve and strength you have and to the power of your own mind to provide rest and a place of calm and peace for yourself.

When you focus on your mind, you will find that the difficulty has disappeared first psychologically and them physically.  To help with this, think back to time in your life and recall the unexpected changes. You may note that they seemed scary and almost paralyzing at the time they happened, but they all shaped you who are and for the most part brought you to a better understanding of yourself and place. If you are experiencing a difficult and challenging time in your life, make note of this, and change your perspective to embrace the temporary.