“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

 

Today many people try to find answers to what they think are their woes, or what will make them happy, rich, satisfied, successful, etc., in an “out-of-the-box” solution.  Many are programmed to seek answers from someone else. Think about it. There are all sorts of messages being thrown at us every day to make us feel like we are missing something and tell us subliminally or overtly that we are not what we should be or where we should be.

We have all seen the headlines of the ads and articles . . .

The Secrets to Financial Success

How to Land the Perfect Job

How to be Happy

What Every Parent Should Know

What You Don’t Know about (fill in the blank) that Will Hurt You

This list of admonitions that suggest we are lacking knowledge or insight and that we need some expert to provide us with all the answers—and worse, have us believing that if we do not act immediately, we will never find love, our purpose, our fame or fortune. A fear-based paradigm filled with uncertainty and doubt enters our lives.  And we believe that we do not have the knowledge or internal resourcefulness, and until we find answers from some external physical source, we’ll never know—destined to be in a constant state of searching, feeling lost and unhappy. 

There are many institutions today that want it this way—to keep the populous unsure, disempowered and preoccupied looking for happiness, and to have us thinking we are not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, etc.  And we fall into the trap of the power brokers wanting us to stay in some unenlightened state.

For sure, there are many good resources available that can aid people in helping themselves, and learning and exploring throughout life is a good thing, but think how often we fall prey to believing that some personal or professional assessment tool, executive, life, or personal coach, some consultant, family member or friend, etc., will show us the way and give us all the answers. Just as we may start to feel good again or we are making progress something happens in our lives that introduces doubt, fear and uncertainty, and we fall back into a cycle of looking for answers outside of ourselves.

Maybe it is easier this way since looking outside of ourselves to someone or something else gives us someone or something to blame if we don’t think we succeeded. It removes responsibility from ourselves about our Selves. Maybe it is because we think is will be faster or easier if “someone else” does the work for us, tells us what to do and how to do it—and provides us with some advertised magic formula. But there is no magic formula—unless you know that you yourself are the magic formula. You have all the answers for the unique you. No one else does.

You have to remember that no amount of validation, advice, or external support will change that you alone need to choose solutions or answers to what you deem as your challenges and then find the strength within yourself to implement them. All the words, programs, tools or advisors in the world cannot change the fact that sometimes you just need to sit with your feelings, to reflect and to have the answers you seek come to you.