“It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering.”

– Buddha

I know that the concept of being detached consciously may seem odd or even uncomfortable—especially as you are working to make change, know your Self and follow your intentions.  The term detached or the state of being detached can have a negative connotation. And this comes from a legacy of expectations that have been ingrained in us and society for centuries.

When I talk about conscious detachment, I’m not taking about “checking out” of life, not caring or giving up on your choices. I am, however, taking about not being attached to outcomes, situations or people; of letting go of trying to control outcomes and the process; and of relinquishing your resistance to what is causing your suffering (what may not be working in your life, unfulfilled desires, loneliness, relationship problems, guilt, financial problems, etc.).

Think about it (Buddha’s famous saying, “It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering”) for a minute in a practical sense. It means that suffering occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then make change. If you can’t change something then accept it and let go of negativity.  It is about accepting what is—the realities in your life without resisting them.

There are some things that no matter how much you resist them there is nothing you are going to be able to do about them. Change what you can change, and have the wisdom to accept unalterable situations as they are without expending energy attempting to change what you cannot.  This acceptance is conscious detachment—the ability to allow the negative to flow through you without resistance and without affecting you.

Attachment is based on fear and insecurity and the need for security is based on not knowing your true Self. Being consciously detached is moving your focus from trying to change others or unchangeable circumstances to a focus on yourself and what needs to be changed in you. This is powerful. It’s moving the focus from the known (the past)—from what we have done, what someone has done or not done to us—to the now. It’s allowing yourself to feel your feelings, letting them go, being in the present moment and trusting the greater power of the Universe.

When you put conscious detachment in the context of your change process and in manifesting your dreams, it’s about not attaching yourself to any specific person’s actions or to certain outcomes. Being attached to any thing, person or situation sends a message to yourself that you are not complete without that thing, person or event, and then you fail to see the perfection in what is.

When you do this you give away your power to create your own reality—and you create within yourself a sense of doubt.  When you detach yourself from the outcome you will feel your doubt and fear transforming into a deep sense of knowing and certainty. This is faith and faith is the means to true detachment.

Whenever you feel a sense of panic or a need to control the process in your day-to-day thoughts and actions, this is when you are in a state of attachment.  You are sort of in an “attached mind.” To work through this first take responsibility for your own behavior. Get to a place where you do not blame others or circumstances.

It’s your reaction to these things that causes disappointment, resentment, anger, etc.  Don’t lose yourself in these negative emotions that will cause fear and perpetuate you being attached. Practice acceptance—acceptance of things you cannot change and trying to change them. Practice letting go—find peace with your past and things that may not be working in your life, and then move to reconnecting with your intentions (Reconnecting to Your Intention) and using positive thoughts and taking positive actions.

In those moments of being in an “attached mind” pause, relax and remind yourself that you are in control when you do not have a need to control. And in this state of conscious detachment you accept what is and by doing so you put in practice faith and trust in the Universe.

This faith is not to sit back and wish things were different or to watch life go by—waiting for life to happen.  It is knowing that your positive thoughts will manifest by you taking inspired action—without the baggage of attachment and negativity. You create a non-resistance pattern that takes you to peace and certainty where your choices flourish and become your reality.

In many of the blog posts I often talk about the power of intention and inner conviction; that the universal source provides or supplies everything and within you is the ability to create. You have the ability to will what you desire, and more importantly to live your imagination.  What I mean is that your will or desire is one thing–to drive hard and focus on what you want, how you want to live your life, etc.  It’s your determination.

But in your imagination you become what you think about. Think of your imagination as the catalyst or the source that makes things happen. To realize your intentions, through the tool and power of your imagination, you need to work in a state of higher or more positive energy. Think about it this way, you attract what you think about. Your thoughts are energy and if you are letting in doubt, distraction or negativity, the universe will respond to that as what is.

If you focus on what you don’t want–don’t want to be, don’t want to go, don’t want to feel, you are perpetuating that as what is and you will attract these negative states or actions. The “don’t want,” doubt and fear are negative, and on a deeper level they are a distraction from inner knowing or trust in the universal source of abundance.

We humans have a tendency when we do not like what is occurring in our lives, to complain or think of what we do not like, want, etc. It’s sort of like swimming up-stream or going against the tide. When we think and speak of what we do not want, do not like, what hurts us or what makes us unhappy, we are swimming against the flow of the universe and stifling our ability to float to our intentions and manifestation of our imagination or desires.

Focusing on what you want in the spirit and state of love, compassion and trust puts forth positive energy and attracts positivity in return. When you complain about something or let distraction in, have you not noticed that even more negative thoughts or actions come soon after? The same applies when you focus on the positive and do not let distractions in; more realizations of the good in your life come to you and you set in motion the profound yet simple knowing that the universe supplies everything.

When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, coming at things from a place of fear or doubt, simply acknowledge the feeling, accept and embrace that you have the right to feel this way and let them go. Re-engage your imagination–visioning yourself in your desired state, place and of being. Examine your self-imposed obstacles and challenges and remove them, and live the intent that has been placed in your heart and soul.  Reconnect to your intentions and the knowing that you have the power to create anything that is in your imagination.

“The heavy is the root of light. The unmoved in the source of all movement”

– Tao Te Ching

Earlier this year I wrote about riding the wave (Ride the Wave) of collective energy that is put out to the universe to ignite or fuel your intentions–to launch yourself on every wave. One way to look at these types of waves (going back to our school days of science) is that they are traveling waves. Waves that are picking up collective energy, and that are not confined to a given space, like the waves of an ocean. But it is also possible for a wave not to travel anywhere, but to simply oscillate in place, maintaining a fixed wavelength of frequency. These are called standing waves.

Like these standing waves, we as humans also have standing waves–whereby we may physically appear (and feel) that we are standing still as the world about us is rapidly moving–in a constant state of traveling waves. That feeling like everything around you is moving while you stand in the middle of it is like being on a fast train where you experience the illusion that the train is standing still and the buildings and trees are moving backwards.

In our standing waves—when we are standing still to regroup, to rest, to reflect and to be in conversation with life, energy is flowing dynamically within our bodies. Our human standing waves appear to be still but they have constant movement within them. This is a movement that removes us from or rises us above traveling movement or waves, to what can be defined as a higher level of movement. In this state we have the ability to clearly hear our inner voice and to deepen our relationship with and understanding of the universal energy that flows through us.

These standing still moments are where we evolve from and where we become awakened. They are where we discover that there is so much more to life–and how we are universally connected. They are where the universe speaks to us. In stillness–in our standing wave–there is amazing movement that goes beyond creating an inner peace and sense of well-being. There is a movement in the stillness where your mind meets your soul and the action that the universe intends blossoms.

“Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends.”
–One Stab, Legends of the Fall

 
This is a great quote from one of my favorite movies. It brings to mind how simple, yet how complex it can be to live your life listening to and being guided by your inner voice. And how hearing and listening to your inner voice can give you clarity, direction and peace of mind–and help you fulfill your life’s intention.

So what is your inner voice? To me it is your authentic self and your intuitive self—intuitive as in your natural instincts and the voice of your soul’s purpose. One way to look at it is that your inner voice is your soul’s whispers to you—the hints about where to turn or go, quiet guidance that gets louder when you don’t at first listen to it; where your intentions are set and where reminders of your passions live; where ideas are formed and imagination is fueled; and where your emotions and feelings are grounded.

Your inner voice is yours and yours alone. It knows what is best for you at any given time and functions always in your best interest and in ways that the rational mind can’t always understand. Sometimes—and we have all experienced this—your inner voice may not make sense to your logical mind.

Many of us have experienced that feeling of something not “feeling” right—where your senses are heightened, things may not “add up,” etc., but logically you can’t articulate or define why in that moment. It just is and when you act based on that inner voice you feel safe, content, better—that you did the “right” thing. Your inner voice provides you with internal guidance that never fails you.

At times it can be difficult to be in tune with your inner voice, and not only to listen but to live by your inner voice. There are so many distractions—over stimuli in our daily lives that result in physical and mental noise. In a world of data and more data, we begin to believe that we need evidence to make the “right” decision or take an action.

Then there are expectations (Freeing Yourself of Expectations) that we impose on ourselves and that others impose upon us. And we let ourselves be influenced by the opinions of others—since we become unsure of ourselves. We start to not trust our “gut” or intuition and (back to the world of data) there seems to be unspoken (negative) judgments about going by your “gut.”

Steve Jobs in his speech to the graduating class as Stanford University soon after his diagnosis of terminal cancer told the graduating class, “Don’t let the voice of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

Take time to listen—really listen—to your inner voice. Don’t discount it. Don’t question it. Don’t turn your back on it when others question you or think you are not making sense. Learn to trust it and embrace it.

Your inner voice is not going to be heard like a literal voice. It whispers (or sometimes shouts) to you in many, many ways. These include gut feelings or hunches, dreams (day or night), moments of clarity (Clarity), impulse moments, repeated urges to do something; and in physical ways such as a shiver, goosebumps, waking up suddenly in the night, and many others. Pay attention to what you are feeling–and don’t over-think it. Acknowledge that this is your inner voice reaching out to you–telling you something. Listen to it!

To hear your inner voice consistently and to grow your trust in it, it helps to dedicate quite time each day when you can connect to your thoughts and emotions. For some, they like to do this in a meditative state or in a quite space. For others, they can do this when being active, such as when exercising, driving to work, taking a walk, cooking, etc. It’s important to make this part of your routine so that you don’t let the outer stimuli and others’ voices and expectations and demands drown out your inner voice. I would love to hear from you on how you hear your inner voice and the difference it has made in your life.

As we journey through our lives and even through a determined process of change we tend to live in and set expectations. Expectations take many forms—from what we expect of ourselves to what others expect of us, and what we expect of others. They are somewhat “inbred” in us from our upbringing, lifestyle, experiences, etc.

In short, we all have a multitude of small expectations that present themselves everyday–expectations on how people should behave, how someone should dress for a work meeting, when someone should call us back after a date, etc. And we have larger expectations–which may be fewer but they have a more pronounced, deep or emotional impact. These may include expectations of your chosen life style, of relationships, of belief systems, etc.

This week I will be writing about vitality. As you work on getting your mind, body and soul aligned and work on becoming the best you you can be, the concept of vitality and the strength of vitality is centrally important to the well being of not only your body or physical self, but also of your mind and soul.