“Don’t live a a life that others want you to live, live your own life do what you love, chase your dreams and goals.“

 ~ Anurag Prakash Ray

In a recent post on “Just Be” I talked about how we are in a time of great spiritual maturity and enlightenment, where new discoveries about ourselves are being revealed, and how important, if not critical, it is to consciously participate in this process. A key word is participate—to take part or have a part or share.

To realize spiritual and personal growth, and to create and realize change in your life you have to participate in your life. You must be present in your life and take responsibility and ownership for all you have done, are doing and will do. Change is simply a process that can be initiated and consciously chosen or it can be thrust upon you by other people, experiences or circumstances. We are all here to experience change, so we can choose to embrace it or deny it. Embracing it, owning it, and being it will allow you to soar and experience tremendous spiritual growth.

If you feel like you are watching your life go by or maybe you are feeling uncertain, stuck, disconnected, unhappy or even fearful, and you are waiting for someone or something to change you or your life, then you are being a spectator of your life. You have become emotionally disconnected and unavailable from yourself—from your soul and its purpose.

Strangely, this may happen because it’s a “safe” place to be. It may be easier to blame others or life events and to live by expectations and “norms” instilled from childhood then to allow yourself to feel and experience all the highs and lows that come wtih learning, growing and living in this physical life. It may feel easier to be a spectator of your life versus being an active participant.

Yes, through life we will all be presented with challenges and difficultties, and can feel uncertain about where we are, if we “fit in” and where we are heading. But sitting on the sidelines and watching or wandering with a lack of direction with the excuse of not knowing where to begin or not having the energy to begin will delay your growth and ascension. All your experiences are yours to own and from which to learn. They are the lessons of your soul. But to keep repeating them in a constant pattern or cycle because you are fearful or not fully committed to change will keep you in a constant state of being the spectator.

If you are experiencing a sense of wandering or as if you are watching your life versus being in your life, you need to consider if what you are experiencing is a new phase where you have entered into a “discomfort” zone or whether you are stuck because you have yet to acknowledge and resolve what is holding you back and what is making you a spectator. For many, it can be living by others expectations or being put “in a box” of how or who they are suppose to be and living up to or by labels we let get assigned.

Using these lables, we learn to function or be in a safe zone, usually going through motions and living life unawakened. These labels make is easier to be passive or a spectator in our own lives. It’s easier to not challenge the way you are living your life, and it can be hard to break the pattern and to learn to think for yourself, to listen to your inner voice and follow you instincts.

It can be uncomfortable at first—but it’s the start to living your own life. This means giving serious thought to what you want to experience and what you would like to see in the world. It means dedicating time to defining the things you want to learn and create. It’s about taking responsiblity and creating opportunities for you—what you seek or desire, and embracing your purpose and re-discovering your Self.

What might help is to think back to a time or situation where you truly felt light or happy, where you felt connected or in the “zone” and where you felt nothing could stop you. You felt energized. You felt “right” where you were and inspired by where you were going. Your soul was talking to you. The signs where there.

Sometimes along the journey of life and spirtual growth we lose the signal of our soul and we fall into routine and expectation. We lose ourselves in the noise and become spectators in our lives—living by labels or others’ demands. It’s time to awaken to discover your authentic self. It’s time to live in opportunity, possibility, and creativity and your soul’s reality. It’s time to be a participant and an owner of your life. Here is some advice to help transform you from a spectator to a participant.

• Be honest with yourself about any difficulties or challenges you may be experiencing. Recognize them and your role in them.
• Accept your past and release emotional baggage. Feel the emotions, do not surpress or avoid them and then let them go.
• Give yourself time and space to reflect.
• Think about options. Brainstorm with no limitations or “what-if’s” or “should-have’s”.
• Really think through your intentions and write them down.
• Take action—even if it is just baby steps where you take manageable steps that move you to where it is you want to be.

I urge you to chose to be a participant in your life. I look forward to hearing from you on how you are transforming from a spectator to a participant!

 

We hear a lot about being empowered, being powerful, and taking our power back. But did you ever take a moment to think about this? What does this really all mean, especially if you start to feel like it’s some kind of movement, that you have been “wronged” or even worse–you feel defeated or lost?

What does it mean to “have (the) power”?

First, let’s start with a simple definition of “power.”  Power is the ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something. This is a good starting point for a perspective on power and taking back or not giving up your power–for embracing your power.

Now in thinking about why you feel that you need to take your power back or not give it up, this is where you really need to do some deep soul searching. What’s going on in your life, what are the things that are causing you to feel stuck, bored, frustrated, angry, sad (fill in the blank) and that are making you feel powerless. You need to be really honest with yourself on this one. If you start to blame others, past or current circumstances or events, etc., you need to go deeper.

You need to look inward into yourself. You need to recognize your fears and take responsibility for your actions. You need to make peace with your past and where you are now and who you are now. You need to nurture the belief that anything is possible and that you can take action and make change. You can leave behind the blame and excuses and set intentions and goals and take positive actions everyday to realize those intentions. This is power–the ability to do or act,–and it resides in each and every one of us.

I like to think about power as the ability to create change in your life. Change for the better, where you grow and soar. It’s the ability to understand and accept who you are, what you want and not make any apologies or excuses for any of these things.  Power is knowing your worth and how special you really are.

If you are waiting for directions, have not set clear intentions, are not focused or resisting change, you are giving away your power. If you are having a hard time staying positive or optimistic–and in love with yourself–for more than one day, you are not embracing your power.

“A good intention clothes itself with power.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Throughout the year I have talked about intention—to have in mind a purpose or plan, to direct the mind and to aim; to do something with purpose and desire. An intention reframes the way you see a situation so that you can approach it in the best possible way—consciously choosing how to act, think and be. Your intentions have the power to change your perspective, open your mind and shift your experience.

Determining your intentions (thoughts), clearly stating them (words) and putting them in motion (actions) are all connected. For some there is, however, a disconnect. They may have stated intentions and dreams, but are not fully acting on them. And some may wonder why their intentions are not being realized or progressing. This is the time to deeply reflect and be honest about what is at play.

If you want to know what is going on in the deepest levels of your life, look to your results. Your life will always express what is going on deep inside of you. If your results are out of line with your stated intentions it’s time for some self examination. It is time to look more deeply to discover your real intentions and then work on changing those to change the way you experience your life.  

When your actions are aligned with your intentions you will create the world you seek. Remember, your results will always match your truest intentions.

Now let’s talk a bit about attention—the interest or thought that you give to something you are doing, listening to or watching. All of us give attention to something in every waking moment of the day. But most people do not pay attention to where they are putting their attention or they put their attention on things that keep them from dealing with what is going on deep inside them.

For many, their lives become driven out of habit and even an unconsicious stream of thoughts. Their intentions get lost—be it from distraction or underlying unresolved issues (fear, not wanting to let go, uncertainty, lack of confidence or excuses tied to unfounded or even unrealistic expectations). If you find yourself in these shoes, take some time to really think about where you are putting your attention, and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you are not dealing with unresolved issues and if you are focusing on negativity or acting (or not acting) because of fear.

Life changes when the object of your attention becomes your conscious choice. Start to put your attention on what you want to manifest and start to develop habits of giving attention to all things that support your intention, and being indifferent to those that do not. Take a first step today—and every day—to do something that demonstates your commitment to your intention. Acknowledge that you did what you said you would, and then take the next step.

What you put your attention on grows strong in your life. In short, develop your intentions carefully, attach to them emotionally and act with bold intent!

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”

– Buddha

 

Living in this time of change can be difficult and unsettling. We are in a time of great awakening and spiritual growth, but our physical beings are uncomfortable and find it difficult to adjust and may keep introducing feelings of fear and distress. There can be feelings of uncertainty, not belonging, boredom, and even questioning what to do with this life, etc.

Going through our daily lives during this evolutionary time—regardless of your stage of life, if employed/unemployed, in a relationship/not in a relationship, in school/not in school, etc.—can have many questioning themselves, their purpose and what to do. Some may try to find solace in routine, or trying to keep busy; or breaking way; trying new things; or reminiscing, etc. It is important to remember to live consciously through this time and not lose sight of the amazing and good things that are on the horizon. We are trained, if you will, to deflect, replace or ignore what we may be feeling. Now is the time to get more in tune with your emotions and with yourself.

It is hard sometimes not to give into the inner voices of fear or distress—regardless of your circumstances. Many may feel broken or beaten down, and even lost. Now is the time to recognize these feelings as reminders of the change and a process of letting go and moving forward. Now is the time to lean on all the work you have done on your personal change and to use your framework for change. Now is time to let go of inflexible attitudes or unyielding modes of behavior.

It can be hard not to “give in” to the negative voices, to keep looking back or trying to find answers in this physical world. But I implore you to look forward and remember that we are in a time of gaining a spiritual maturity, where new discoveries about yourself and the World will be revealed. It is important to consciously participate in this process.

I know each of you have the strength and certainty deep inside you. As you go through your daily experiences and routines, do not let the uncertainty or feeling “homeless” or in “limbo” distract you. Try to think of the voices you are hearing and the emotional and physical affects of this ascension as reminders that you are getting closer to your freedom from Universal and self-imposed limitations.

New channels are opening for you. This is a powerful shift. The journey through this change and process can be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausting so best to try to stay positive, stay in trust, stay in compassion, stay in love, stay in gratitude; to be you, to love you; to take care of yourself; to get more sunshine and fresh air; to rest, to laugh—and to just be.You are in the embrace of the Universe and all will be well.

Lately I have been thinking more and more that there are many folks “sleep-walking” through life. They place a value on what they do and how they do it, but on someone else’s terms, fueled by years (actually generations upon generations) of expectations and “norms” that somehow along with the “third and fourth dimensions” got established as belief systems. A good chunk of the earth’s population buy into these belief systems so much so that they define what will make them happy or at peace, what will move them up in the work place, what will make them “more attractive” or popular to others—and what they “need to do,” “need to have,” or “need to be” to progress through life. (Note—everything you “need” you already have within you.)

They become judgmental of themselves and of others—and create negativity and doubt. They are unconscious! And forget that they always are at choice in what they believe and how they create their lives.  Think about it this way. If you are walking around thinking that life is a struggle and think you have no “control” over what happens in your life, you blame others, feel sorry for yourself or think by having more (fill in the blank—time, money, love, etc.) you will be happy or successful, you are sleep-walking. You may think you are awake, but you are going through life on auto-pilot and not really living YOUR life or being true to your SELF.

When you are going through life in this unconscious state you are stuck in your day-to-day existence and have a narrow or an attached perspective—and you can’t step back to see the bigger picture and allow yourself to have a detached perspective.  You are reacting to things that are happening in your life and “using” your memory or past experiences in how you react. You have lost sight that actually you created all these events and experiences.

Waking up will allow you to have that detached perspective and you will see how the choices you make impact what presents itself in your life.  This is quite powerful—not only to your being but to the collective. As more and more people “wake-up” this will have an amazing universal impact—change. It will evolve—if not turn on its head—the unfortunate current state of expectations, judgment, criticality and negativity in today’s world—so that we all can realize a more enlightened and joyful existence.

So you may say—how do I wake up? A first step is to remind yourself that it is not what you are “doing” that is important—but what you are “being.”  Stop defining yourself by what you do, where you work or study, who your “friends” are, etc., and be honest with yourself about yourself. Learn to accept yourself and love yourself—and stop living by others’ expectations.

Stop judging yourself and condemning yourself. Stop taking the words of others for defining bad or good or right or wrong about you.

Be honest about your motivations and instincts.

Let yourself be vulnerable. I know—this can be a scary one. But let go of the concept of control. Just be you and take chances. Try new things. Embrace what makes you unique. Give yourself permission to be you!

Be in the moment. Stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future. Meet yourself where you are at and be in that moment. Savor those moments—let yourself be happy, be sad, just be!

Try not to have regrets or have the mindset that all good things must end. For instance how many times have you just had a great day, spent time with someone special or were at a wonderful celebration—but when it’s over you feel sad. So try to smile that it happened and you had that experience, and you were in that moment vs feeling down that it’s over. Carry the good and joy with you—in your heart.

And be sincere about your intentions. Be conscious of your thoughts, words and actions.

So I hope today if you are “sleep-walking” that you start to nudge yourself to wake up. The world needs more of us in the awake state!

“Let your very existence be your song, your poem, your story.

Let your very identity be your book . . .”

– Charlotte Eriksson

 

We have been taught that all good stories have a beginning, a middle and an end. They have a plot, a protagonist, a climax and so on. We have been taught about and exposed to the many genres of stories—comedy, tragedy, drama, action, adventure, romance, science fiction, etc. In doing some research I found that there are genres within genres and quite an extensive list. This seems to go hand-in-hand with sometimes how complicated life may seem and why we think our life stories have to be some combination of all of these genres.

But even in thinking in the simplest terms that good stories are suppose to have a beginning, a middle and an end, most of us tend to put the stories of our lives in the framework as well—with “the end” being the exclamation point on our lives. We focus on what our legacy will be or on the impact of our purpose in this life. We fixate on the future or the end so much so that we forget to be in the present.

As we grow up and the distance between “just being”, of child-like wonder and the magic of simple things widens, some of us start to define our life story in the expectations of others or for others. We set milestones based on what our parents, friends, the media, etc., have taught us that will make us happy. These milestones start to form the beginning, middle and end of the (your) story. We painstakingly try to pin point the major accomplishment, the “ah-ha” moment or how our life’s work will make a major impact in the world.

We can get so fixated on trying to tell a story or making up a story that answers these questions that we forget to live OUR story. In short, we start to write our story for someone else, and not for ourselves.  We get distracted and we begin to lose sight of all the little moments, quiet events and people on our paths that make our stories so special and so remarkable.

Life can be full of noise, distraction and expectations. So much so that some of us will start to fill our daily dialogue with “should haves,” “if only,” and “whens.” We get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, letting others project themselves and their beliefs onto us, and of being judgmental. For some, we start to think (and even believe) that someone else will make us happy, has the answers, will tell us what to do, etc., so we can be happy, successful, content—and that our lives are “on track” for the beginning, middle and end of what makes a “good story.”

When you do this, you start to lose your power. You let someone else dictate your story. You have an amazing story. You were born with it—and it is only yours to tell. Don’t let someone else tell your story. Take responsibility for yourself—all the good you have done and will do, and for the things that may not have turned out so great. Live vicariously through yourself! Look inside yourself for the answers you seek—they are already there and they are always with you. Open your eyes to you—and along the way you will write and tell YOUR story—a story that never really ends; a story that is a wonderful combination of moments and nows!