“Let your very existence be your song, your poem, your story.

Let your very identity be your book . . .”

– Charlotte Eriksson

 

We have been taught that all good stories have a beginning, a middle and an end. They have a plot, a protagonist, a climax and so on. We have been taught about and exposed to the many genres of stories—comedy, tragedy, drama, action, adventure, romance, science fiction, etc. In doing some research I found that there are genres within genres and quite an extensive list. This seems to go hand-in-hand with sometimes how complicated life may seem and why we think our life stories have to be some combination of all of these genres.

But even in thinking in the simplest terms that good stories are suppose to have a beginning, a middle and an end, most of us tend to put the stories of our lives in the framework as well—with “the end” being the exclamation point on our lives. We focus on what our legacy will be or on the impact of our purpose in this life. We fixate on the future or the end so much so that we forget to be in the present.

As we grow up and the distance between “just being”, of child-like wonder and the magic of simple things widens, some of us start to define our life story in the expectations of others or for others. We set milestones based on what our parents, friends, the media, etc., have taught us that will make us happy. These milestones start to form the beginning, middle and end of the (your) story. We painstakingly try to pin point the major accomplishment, the “ah-ha” moment or how our life’s work will make a major impact in the world.

We can get so fixated on trying to tell a story or making up a story that answers these questions that we forget to live OUR story. In short, we start to write our story for someone else, and not for ourselves.  We get distracted and we begin to lose sight of all the little moments, quiet events and people on our paths that make our stories so special and so remarkable.

Life can be full of noise, distraction and expectations. So much so that some of us will start to fill our daily dialogue with “should haves,” “if only,” and “whens.” We get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, letting others project themselves and their beliefs onto us, and of being judgmental. For some, we start to think (and even believe) that someone else will make us happy, has the answers, will tell us what to do, etc., so we can be happy, successful, content—and that our lives are “on track” for the beginning, middle and end of what makes a “good story.”

When you do this, you start to lose your power. You let someone else dictate your story. You have an amazing story. You were born with it—and it is only yours to tell. Don’t let someone else tell your story. Take responsibility for yourself—all the good you have done and will do, and for the things that may not have turned out so great. Live vicariously through yourself! Look inside yourself for the answers you seek—they are already there and they are always with you. Open your eyes to you—and along the way you will write and tell YOUR story—a story that never really ends; a story that is a wonderful combination of moments and nows!