In the Warrior Rx blog we have talked often about expectation—the expectations that have been ingrained in us from society, our upbringing, culture, etc., the expectations that others project onto us and the expectations that we even impose on ourselves. We have talked about the influence of those expectations on us as we evolve, work toward change within ourselves and the world around us and ascend.

I would like to revisit expectation again in the context of the expectation of an end—an end result, an end outcome or milestone. These all by intent or not are imbued with expectation that by something we have done, somewhere we have been, something we have seen or experienced will result in an end-game—the final stage of some action or process.

Since we live in a physical world of duality our thoughts and actions are often inadvertently shaded by have/have not, yes/no, good/bad, done/not done, etc. As we move through our lives, especially when we are intentionally working toward change, seeking a different path and dedicating our energies to an accomplishment we so often look to the end-game of those efforts, and doing so fill our heads with the thoughts of “when I finish [fill in the blank].”

When we do this, we can easily lose sight of the path we are on and that even what may seem like the most benign encounter or experience is important and meant to be. It is often these small or uneventful encounters and experiences that contribute significantly to where we are at any given time. And sometimes we only realize the impact many months, or even years later when we reflect on our experiences and where we are in life.

I believe in having intention, manifestation and living consciously, but when the focus totally becomes the end-game you may be missing out on signals or signs, overlooking nuances and pre-occupying your thoughts with strategy on how to get to your defined end-game. There is a balance to be struck—that of understanding yourself, setting your intentions and being aware everyday of what you are thinking, doing and where you are—and not being focused on the end-game.

Remove the end-game agenda from your head and enjoy where you are, and be energized by the experiences and encounters you are having. These are meaningful and impactful pieces of your journey.

Lost in our resolute ways to complete this journey, we often misplace ourselves and miss the finest seasons of our life. As we are influenced by expectations—even with the best intent in mind—we can become pre-occupied as we are running toward some end. It is OK to stop running and to walk, and as we walk to be an observer, onlooker and spectator of ourselves, of others and where we are.

Detach ourselves from some fabricated illusion that was created so that you can become more aware and live consciously. In our grand plans of preparation, we often forget the present moment and season in which we are, and we can miss the moments that define who we are and where we are going.

By definition readiness is the state of being ready or prepared or a willingness to do something. The concept of readiness can be interesting as you struggle with the question of am I ready—ready to strike out on your own, ready to change jobs, ready to go back to school, ready for a new relationship or to leave one that you are in, ready to start a new business, ready to [fill in the blank].

Complicating this is that sometimes we doubt ourselves, sometimes we overthink, sometimes we get lost in noise, sometimes we resist the arbitrary deadlines or expectations or the bureaucracy and processes. Uncertainty, fear and frustration can start to set in—making us think we are not ready.  

Not easy territory to navigate. I like to think about it in the phase of “on your mark, get ready, set, go.”

“On your mark” is staking your claim or your right to do something, to make a change, make a difference, etc. It’s about understanding yourself, knowing you have the knowledge, the courage and the mindset for what you are planning, wanting or needing to do. It is standing tall, firm and proud—and grounded.

“Get ready” is taking a deep breath to gain clarity, to clear out the doubt, fear, nerves, etc. It is moments right at the intersection of anxiety and excitement. “Set” is taking your right and stake, combining it with the clearing out of low vibrating emotions and having that moment of calm confidence. It is your state of mind, as in it is set to move into action. “Go” is taking that first small step or big leap—it’s that forward motion into action or the state of doing.

In that first act of go, you let go of the doubt, anxiety, fear and uncertainty and you move forward in a fluid motion. In the go state, you increasingly find yourself in the moments of transformation and change—moving toward you goal or next step. You have to trust in yourself and know that your Self will not let you do things for which you are not ready. Your instincts will guide you and your experience will unfold as it is meant.

As we turn the calendar to April and step into Spring, we get a boost of renewed energy from the waking up of the world around us—turning greener and warmer. For some, thoughts turn to spring cleaning, spring fitness and getting out and about more. But often we do not necessarily think about spring cleaning our thoughts and our minds, and we keep ourselves in our routines.

We may feel reenergized as the weather changes, but feel tethered to our routines and expectations. An uneasiness or restlessness sets in and we are conflicted. Our thoughts are saying one thing and our souls are saying another. In some circles, this is called Spring Fever—a combination of conflicting emotions, including a sense of comfort and renewal and lack of ambition.

With Spring upon us, it is a time to do a mental reboot and to give yourself a fresh outlook and new perspective. It is a season to shake off the dust, remove the heavy clothing and to lighten up. Just as we get comfortable in our sweaters and hats and look forward to getting under the covers in the Winter, our thoughts can get weighed down and want to tuck away under the blankets—thinking it is a safe, warm place.

We don’t want to go out into the chilly world—in a way, not wanting to confront what we need or want to change. So now is the time to throw off those blankets, kick off those boots and change your mindset. It is time to spring clean your self.

If you are feeling weighed down by routine and expectations or you are approaching decisions and what you do from a place of fear or anxiety, lighten it up with first changing your own internal or mental conversation.  Start to shift your thinking. In short, pay attention to what you think about and why. 

Once you do that, flip that on its side. Fill your thoughts with intention, hope and aspiration. Fear, worry and expectation are such disablers. Focus on removing them as driving forces in your life.

If you are feeling unmotivated or overwhelmed, unplug from the distractions (and devices). Getting caught up in drama, social media and the self-imposed “to-do” lists are excuses to avoid spending time with yourself and giving your head time to clear and reset itself. Maybe it is the unfamiliar or unknown that keeps us keeping ourselves distracted, but every once in a while it’s good to stop the multi-tasking and get in tune with yourself. Do not underestimate how your mind and mood can be influenced by all the input and noise around you.

Work on letting things go. If you are holding onto resentment, anger, shame, embarrassment, sadness, etc., from the past, acknowledge it and then let it go. Nothing in the past can harm you unless you allow it to. If you are spending way too much time thinking about the future and your next steps, step back into your present and be present.

If you are feeling like just wanting to get outside and get some light and fresh air. Listen to yourself and just do it. No excuses or “but first I have to  . . . “. This is putting yourself back into what you think is a safe or comfort zone. Listen to your soul and try something new or different. Plus, getting outside helps you tap into the earth’s energy—helping you to be grounded and calm. Make an effort everyday to get outside and to reap the benefits.

Take advantage of this Spring season to get back in touch with you, to refuel your soul and untether yourself.

Along the path of life we magnetize or attract to ourselves many things–experiences, relationships, information, emotions, behaviors, and more. As we journey through our life, we resonate more with certain things, places and people, and along the way we pick up things that become part of who we are and that adds to the uniqueness of us.

For many this is an almost unnoticeable process. We tend to go through our lives not keenly aware of the impact of our experiences on ourselves and changes that are constant. Many take for granted the people put on their path, not recognizing even the impact of a quick encounter with a stranger.

Yes, sometimes people come into your life (and you into the lives of others) and you know right away that they were meant to be there. There is no coincidence. People do not just randomly appear in our lives. There is always a reason and a “meant to be.” 

Sometimes we are meant to connect with a person and open up to them in order to grow as a person. Sometimes, we are meant to meet someone to inspire them or to meet someone to become a better version of ourselves.

All our experiences and the people we encounter are, some would say, part of the bigger picture.  A random person coming into your life could very well be part of your life path. There are people who are destined to be in our lives.

Each of us is born with unique talents, ideas, personality and mentality—but we are all connected. As we grow though life there are some people that may have a missing piece that we may need or that we have that they need. There is something universally powerful guiding us—that guides us in the directions we are destined, and the people we briefly encounter, the people that are more constant in our lives, relationships from the past, etc., all contribute to who we are and what we are to accomplish in life.

It is important to keep in mind that while our higher Self and powers will provide us with opportunity to bring important people in our lives, there are also externalities or forces that enable distractions. It is equally important to be cognizant of the people appearing in your life and to follow your instincts if they are there to positively contribute to your life or if they are a distraction or a low vibrating force.

Sometimes navigating life some days feels like you don’t have all the verbs and the nouns in the sentence, or like you are working with one word that can have a variety of meanings. In short, like you do not have the full context. You do not have all the pieces and are looking for context clues as a source of information to help understand the world in which you are living—what is happening around you and why is it happening.

With so much change going on around you it can be easy to feel out of context with your life, or to start defining yourself by your circumstances. What is the perspective you hold on your life? Do you see yourself as interesting, capable, adventurous, fun, bright, etc., or do you see yourself as struggling and not successful? Which context would serve you best? Do you focus on the content of your life versus the context?

Here’s an example. Often we make (like New Year’s Resolutions) measurable, concrete goals (the content) without the context. Context is the setting for an idea or experience and the way in which it can be fully understood. Context impacts the setting of the content. 

When we talk about making change in our lives this often involves deep reflection, setting intentions and accepting ourselves—but sometimes we miss the context piece. And it can be quite tempting to identify yourself by your circumstances.  So the question that rises to top is how do you shift how you view and define yourself? It should not be by your circumstances or how others define you.

Look closely at how you describe yourself—who you are and how you contribute. This is a big clue to how you see the context of your life. For many of us we identify ourselves by our role, our job, where we live, where we came from, etc.  Taking a fresh approach to describing yourself requires you to look deep inside yourself—how you see yourself, how you feel about your value to others and how you want to contribute to the context of your life.

The good news is that you can cultivate who you want to be. And a first step is to value your individuality. Remember also that you are not your surroundings. You are not your body. You are not your circumstances. As Leo Babauta, Zen Habits, says, “Being different is what makes you who you are. It means you’re daring to live your own life, on your terms, with your values. It means you have courage to stand out from the mainstream. It means you’re interesting. Hug those differences, be grateful for them, own them. Be proud of them.”

In watching President Obama’s farewell speech this past Tuesday, he made a statement of “. . . that change only happens when ordinary people get involved, and they get engaged, and they come together to demand it.” That one statement referring to ordinary people struck me as odd and troublesome since ordinary means for the most part with no special or distinctive features.

The use of ordinary to essentially describe a population or community of people that can do great things seemed misplaced.  I am not commenting on the speech or the President, but more so on how what seems like benign use of words or carefully chosen words can reinforce beliefs that we are ordinary or lesser than others, and in this particular case that it is inspiring to be ordinary because even ordinary people can do good or extraordinary things.

Aren’t we all extraordinary? Do not each of us bring unique talents, gifts, perspectives and experiences to the communities in which we live and to the world? Agreeing that you are ordinary is denying the gifts that are uniquely yours. Labeling yourself as ordinary diminishes you, and having others in what some might say are in positions of power or leadership labeling you as ordinary seems like a power-broker move. 

No one walking on this earth today is ordinary. Far too often we lose sight of the remarkable beings we are and the energy and power within ourselves to create not only great lives for ourselves but for the world around us. I think many today often resign themselves to mediocrity, unconsciously going about their days and not being in the moments of their days because they believe they are ordinary or listen to an inner voice that is caught up in fear or doubt.

Many believe that the “great ones” among us—in art, politics, business, etc.—are different, better, special, extraordinary, and either strive to be like them or think we can never realize that level of extraordinary. The truth is each one of us is special and extraordinary. We all have great purpose, and amazing potential. We all have authentic power to impact many, and we have the ability to break through doubt, fear and excuses.

So do not let anyone, including yourself, refer to you as ordinary. Thinking, believing and acting that you are ordinary limits you and your ability to make change and to be a creator.  Remember, the words we use have a staggering power to create our reality. I am not ordinary, and neither are you!

As we get ready to step into 2017–with many of us making resolutions and commitments as our first foot forward into the new year—it is a good time to reflect and to better understand our emotions, and to release the low vibrating ones so that we don’t recycle them in 2017 and beyond.

The past cannot be undone, but you can change how you think and feel about it and react to it. The future will be, but spending your energy being there before it happens (possibly with worry, consternation, anxiety, etc.) stagnates you and you can easily lose sight of where you are. As you start 2017, restore your spirit by releasing the low vibration emotions of envy, jealously, anger, fear, contempt, hate, shame, blame and sadness (among others) and work at being in the moment without the baggage of the past and the “stocking-up of supplies” for the future.

Low vibrating emotions essentially accumulate over the course of our lives, and we tend to store them, and in a strange way they become familiar and almost comfortable. We essentially train ourselves to rely on them (as a crutch or excuse) and dwell in them, even seeking out others who feel the same way (we all know that expression of “misery loves company”). This double-downs on the low vibrating emotions, further suppressing their release since we then keep depositing more into a storage bank that soon becomes full and overwhelming.

Your unique soul will let you know what emotions and feelings need to be or are ready for release. Know that some may require more time to release than others since they may be very deeply ingrained in you or you may need to work through a few cycles of release as your soul may need to experience them to come to reconciliation and peace so they can ultimately be released.  

The release of low vibrating energies (through low vibrating emotions) is a process. You cannot emancipate yourself from low vibrating emotions unless you are willing to be conscious of the things, people or patterns that trigger them, and you should be willing to lean into them and relax so the suppressed low vibrating energies can flow out.

Over your life—from your experiences and behaviors—you have conditioned yourself towards a certain way of thinking and feeling, (for many) enabling a pattern and habit of coming to low vibrating perceptions and conclusions before higher vibrating perceptions and conclusions. This leads you to be more likely to feel emotions of anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, etc., which are inherently low vibrating.

You can only release low vibrating (some might say negative) energy and emotions by allowing it versus resisting it.  The old adage of what you resist will persist holds true. Many people think they can free themselves of low vibrating emotions by ignoring or suppressing them—and somehow over time they will be forgotten and go away. But they don’t.

This suppression accumulates and lingers which will trigger the same or similar emotions in the future.  Holding onto these emotions and energies interferes with a more harmonious flow of energy, and can cause blockages to your body, mind and spiritual growth.  When you start to feel the low vibrating emotions, make a conscious effort to relax. You can do this through deep breathing, meditation and being mindful.

Consciously feel the energy created by the emotion in your body.  Let go of the energy by not resisting it, but by letting it flow. The more you practice surrendering to the emotion and to the flow and the process, you will more quickly move through emotions and be able to release them. Think of it this way, the suppressed emotions want to leave, and if you calm your mind and relax your body, they can rise up and be released.

As you take the first gentle steps into 2017, listen to your body and soul, relax and let go. And fill the new spaces formed with higher-vibrating energies and emotions. Wishing all a healthy and happy New Year!