The Power of Self Validation

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“Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your inner voice”

~ Steve Jobs

Somewhere along our life journey we find ourselves seeking validation outside of ourselves. It starts early in our lives and continues into adulthood where we go through life trying to be liked and accepted, fearing criticism, yearning adulation and craving validation. We seek approval or recognition of others so we are accepted, liked, loved, included, sought after, popular, etc. We seek validation from friends, family, bosses, teachers and even strangers.

This can be a dangerous development since along the way this need for validation or approval kills freedom and engulfs us in a form of mental slavery. In this state of seeking and living in the validation of ourselves by others we can find ourselves making choices and decisions to avoid criticism or disapproval, rather than what is most valuable or important to us.

More so, approval or validation from others can get to be addictive and before you know it you are constantly seeking or need more. In this state you are putting a higher value of the beliefs, opinions and needs of others before your own. You lose yourself and you sacrifice your dreams, desires and aspirations in order to have the approval of others. Think how paralyzing this is. The consequences are serious. You can start to have low personal fulfillment and a lack of achievement. You may have self doubt impacting your confidence and esteem. You can have an internal battle brewing that creates stress which can lead to a lack of focus and feed health issues.

And for many, they don’t even recognize it since this validation cycle becomes part of everyday life and justifiable so that we feel that we fit in or are accepted.  Society, in this current physical dimension of duality, created judgement and comparison that got internalized by many. Some of us get so preoccupied with being accepted that we lose sight of our uniqueness, our gifts and who we are. alone on deck

We are all entitled to our own thoughts, beliefs and opinions. Because you think differently to someone else or do something differently does not mean one is right or wrong or that one is better or worse. It is important to respect the right of others to have their own beliefs and opinions but to do so you must first respect and appreciate your right to your opinions and beliefs.

You must nurture your ability to think for yourself and know yourself. You must let go of the need for approval and build self-acceptance. Another way of looking at it is as self-validation and honing the ability to be able to distinguish if you are living by other’s beliefs or values instead of your own.

To start your journey to self-validation ask yourself why are other people’s opinions of you are so important to you and why do you need or seek validation of others.

Know and internalize that acceptance and love first starts with you by you and not the outside world.

Affirm that you have the Universal right to be happy and a life that is lived in purpose and love—which again starts within you.

Check in with yourself on whether you are accepting and approving of yourself. It’s your life, your soul’s journey and it’s perfectly fine that it is different from others. After all it should be—we are all unique.

And remember you are here to live an authentic life and not to live to abide by someone else’s rules or to please others.

Take the first steps today to let go of validation by others—and simply validate yourself.