The Key to Staying Positive

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There is a lot of talk of ‘being positive’ and ‘thinking positive’ when it comes to self-development and taking better control of your life, and really for good reason. Ultimately, if you subscribe to the mindset that you create your reality as I do, then being a positive person and thinking positively is the way to go if you are choosing to live a more happy and evolved life. Now this does not mean that if you are always positive, negative things will not happen to you… I mean this is life! But, the key to being a truly positive person is that when negative situations do arise, it’s how you handle yourself and your reaction to the situation that matters most.

So staying positive is a choice, a decision, just like anything else in life. Your emotions are just trained responses that you have gotten used to over the course of your life. Contrary to popular belief, you do have control over your emotions and thoughts if you choose. Really though, the trickiest part to having an optimistic and positive mindset is in the beginning, when you are just starting to walk this higher level path, when you are just starting to grasp how and if this is really possible. When you find yourself mostly negative and angry more often than you would like to be and when things seem to be going wrong in your life how can you possibly be positive? Do you have to fool yourself?… fake it till you make it as they say?

Not really, it mostly comes down to your perspective… and having proper perspective is gained through awareness and detachment. Here is what I mean, look at the big picture when you find yourself in a bad situation, it’s usually not as bad as you make it out to be and not the end of the world. In most instances, we are on auto-pilot and have been taught to react negatively because really, it’s what most other people do and that is what we have mostly seen our entire lives. Our society and culture is more negative and fear-based than positive and this is reflected on tv, in the news, media, staged world events etc.  Why this is the case is another matter that I won’t get into here, but this has all influenced and programmed us over time. sun glow

But again, awareness is key. Take a step back, take a deep breath, don’t just react. Make your reaction a conscious decision, take yourself off auto-pilot. Detach yourself from what everyone else is doing and how they react. Watch your thoughts closely but don’t identify with them. Most people are controlled by their emotions and thoughts and are not in control of them. So it’s natural to see how our society thinks it is normal to react negatively to negative situations and people… garbage in and garbage out. But if you want to live a more positive existence you have to think and act differently than most people do. You have to take a different path, a higher path.

Also, if you are into doing positive affirmations, mantras, etc. or consciously taking time out throughout your day to focus on and tell yourself the positive thoughts and events you would like to see and create in your life, but you are still not seeing your mindset and life change for the positive, then it’s the time in-between that you are not being aware of.

What is the time in-between? The in-between is when you are going about your day doing tasks, chores, work etc., beyond your conscious effort to think positively and thoughts just come and go automatically which you are not really aware of. In most cases, although you think you are a positive person and are making a conscious effort to be so, you are still not aware of how unconsciously negative you really are.

It is important to know that this process is natural, so that you become even more aware of your every unconsious thought that comes in throughout the day. When you notice the thoughts that are negative, the next step is to be detached from them and don’t beat yourself up about it. Understand that this is just your mind on auto-pilot. It will take some time to retrain and reprogram your mind (I highly recommend doing some form of meditation daily to help increase your awareness and speed up this process).

Finally, turn the thought(s) around and re-frame it into its positive opposite that you would like to see and repeat it in that way at least three times. Eventually over time, this process will become a habit and you will find yourself in a more positive state of mind reaping more positive results. So in a nutshell, the key to staying positive is a simple three step process: awareness—>detachment—>reframe thoughts to positive.

When negative thoughts and situations come into your life, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to take the high road and evolve even faster as a better more positive person. Again, it’s how you perceive things that makes all the difference and what you make of it. Keep in mind also that this is a journey so again, don’t be too hard on yourself, enjoy the ride and the progress you make.