Something to Think About

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I had a few interesting (and thought provoking) conversations lately. Well, more like encounters where small sound bites were innocently and unnoticeably spoken–and where then the conversation just moved somewhere else or just waned off, and we went our respective ways and doing our respective things. But they started to add up a bit–get connected. And they made me start to think (ok contemplate) why some people are so resistant to doing something–even if it’s something small–to make a change.

I have a good friend who just was not happy in her job. She is extremely talented, innovative–a true creative spirit (and mind). She was feeling a bit stuck in an over bureaucratized and negative work environment. But she was sticking it out until one day the negativity reached a peak, and coupled with a few unfortunate events (a bit of a perfect universal storm), got her to the point of saying “no more” and “I’ll be leaving.” Now you may think that the rest of this story will be about her, but it’s not. It’s about the reaction and responses of others to her decision.

So she decides to make this rather significant change (and done so in a professional, reasonable, logical, “just-knew” in her soul the right thing to do for her kind of way). She says to me in passing that some people were sending her “you go girl” type messages that went as far as saying “hey, you are my hero” and so glad “you got over the wall.”  Ok–who among us who have worked in some challenging environments and similar circumstances can say that even for a split second we never thought that? A bit of human nature at play–maybe . . .

And the question I pose is how many of us did something positive for ourselves when even for that split second we had those thoughts?Freedom

My friend moves on, but the people that sent her those messages are still there–most likely going back to their day to day tasks, feeling unappreciated, over-worked–thinking that they are the victim of the machine. Maybe they are scared, or don’t know where to start or maybe just are content being unhappy–of living in this state of despair. They have a lot of inherited beliefs, live in the state of “if only” or “when” (believing like there’s this perfect time to do something different) and fuel their own cycle of negative thinking.

Or they think that something will be given to them, someone else has the control and they just have to wait till it’s delivered to them. And I thought, how sad. And what’s even sadder is the collective energy of this negativity (the “misery loves company” adage), and not only that it seems accepted, but how it perpetuates negative energy, and more so a low frequency of functioning of the Self that has such a negative universal impact.

I’m not advocating that everyone who knew my friend and sent those messages quit their jobs on the spot. Indeed, accepting one’s current circumstances and acknowledging why you are where you are is a key step. But if those people who were sending (and feeling) such a movement-like passion could take that passion to look inward and examine why they are feeling such an affinity to my friend in this context and start to make change within themselves;  how that can change the dynamic–within themselves and in their environment.

There is such a “complaining” culture that’s kept alive because people do not take the time to work on themselves; to reflect, to understand themselves, to learn what makes them happy, to put out well thought out intentions and to be compassionate. Many live is a state where it seems easier to blame others and not take responsibility for how they feel and their circumstances. My friend’s decision was not rash–it was done with self-reflection and with a full understanding of her Self.

A few days after that brief conversation with my friend, I called up her to see how she was doing, and we talked a bit about those emails and calls that were lingering with her–not lingering because she had any second thoughts or felt bad for the people “left behind,” but because at that critical moment (of that universal perfect storm) she knew without question her decision was the right one for her. She felt sad that people were thinking that her decision was a visceral reaction and were viewing her as a hero for “rejecting the corporate machine.”

Over the course of a few weeks I had a few similar conversations, but in varying contexts–and I kept seeing this pattern. The pattern of what seems to be that it’s easier to complain or to live vicariously through someone else’s action versus taking a positive step forward and discovering one’s Self. So again the question–human nature or deciding to stay functioning at a low vibration? I choose functioning at a higher vibration!

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