Cultivating Life Balance

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Life balance—a concept to be in a steady state where all things are in the “right place” and things are going your way—seems so elusive. It almost becomes the “holy grail” as we continually search for it. We think of balance as a state of calm and symmetry, being in control or taking everything that comes our way in stride. It’s when you feel good about yourself and where you are, regardless of all you are doing or taking on.

We start to think or feel we are out of balance because we have unrealistic expectations and we adopt someone else’s definition of life balance. We think by doing more, moving from task to task or running from place to place we will find fulfillment, fill a void, discover that something that will make us happy and bring us joy or even gain some level of martyrdom because of all we are doing. But in fact, when you do this, you are not being true to yourself and not choosing a life balance that is right for you. You are not cultivating a life balance.

So how do you choose your right balance? First, you need to think about why you feel so out of balance—what is really going on in your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual being. Is being so busy an excuse to not deal with an issue, someone or a situation? Is feeling out of balance because you are not accepting change, but instead you are resisting it? Is it being fueled by not prioritizing? Are you not taking care of yourself? Or is it because you are not living in the present and meeting yourself where you are at this moment? That out of balance feeling comes from within you so only you can address it.

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Achieving balance in your life starts with your personal choice and decision to change the way you live your life and how you think about balance. In thinking about balance know that life, and even you, is not a steady or neutral state—everything and everyone is in a constant state of motion. The more you cling to things (circumstances, people, possessions) to hold yourself in balance, the less you rely on your strength and flexibility to adapt and change. Because balance is not a fixed state, but always moving forward, you need to move forward too. This means embracing change and allowing yourself and others to evolve.

To help you move forward and to change your approach to balance so its true nature can emerge, here are a few ways to help find your balance.

1. Stop spending time on the things you don’t need to do

2. Spend more time on the things you love to do

3. Spend time alone: Take a walk, write, meditate or even simply sit quietly

4. Limit time with negative or toxic people

5. Pay attention to your health: Get rest, eat a little healthier and fit in some type of activity

6. Take a risk: It’s difficult to face change and to take on something new in life, but it’s that mindset that keeps us stuck

7. Find that something that keeps you grounded and that allows you to concentrate and minimize distractions

8. Let go of the need for certain outcomes and thinking you have to control things. You can only control your reaction to things.

9. Embrace falling: There will be days where you will feel like you didn’t get it right or messed up, or fell down on the job. It’s ok. Just reset and get back up again!

10. Smile more and remember have fun

As science fiction writer Frank Herbert said, “There’s no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves.”

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